*I always struggle with writing. For me, the process is very much like the famous quote from Red Smith: “Writing is easy. You just open a vein and bleed.”
I hadn’t heard this quote before but it certainly got my attention. The process of re-creating this jumbled up, riddled with holes kind of journey is tough. It was tough the first time through and pulling it back up, sifting through and analyzing it isn’t so easy either.
Many days I just don’t want to; it just hurts too much. But my severed parts scream at me, their phantom pain so raw that they compel me to keep moving forward and keep my eyes on the prize. So I do.
I have to believe it will work because I know that all the crazy stuff I’ve done before hasn’t. Numbing, stuffing it down, staying crazy busy; none of this works so I really get the “open a vein and bleed” concept. It also has an appeal to my dark and morbid side. The association comes easily to the dark child reared with pain as her best friend and who comfortably seeps over to dance with her demons.
I’m told that writing is the path to recovery. At the very least it gives me a place for the scattered debris of words and thoughts to go. And putting it on paper seems to relieve the burden for me and the small child who carried it all these years. Maybe it will all come together at some point, I don’t know for sure. I will trust those who urge people like me to write their stories, they’ve run the marathon and are sitting with the prize. All I have to do is stay here, write and bleed.
*Post from The Gift of Light on Brene Brown’s blog, Ordinary Courage