it was the boy at Jack in the Box…

The holidays, starting with Thanksgiving and ending after New Years, is a time I could do without.  This year I’ve obliterated them completely.  No Christmas tree, not one gift will be purchased, the house is cluttered and what christmas cookies I made plus the ones given to me have long been consumed, mostly as an entire meal. Yes, I ate them as a meal.

Trust me, you don’t want to depend on me for providing any type of holiday spirit.  I don’t decorate and I’m not perky.  If you want to come by and drink spiked eggnog and talk about books, that would be great.  Its not that I’m a scrooge, its just the rampant commercialism and stressed out people trying to find money they don’t have to buy presents they don’t need doesn’t inspire me. Combine that with how I’ve nearly been killed twice this week alone from accelerating careening SUV’s with blonde ladies at the wheel screaming into a cell phone with her 2.2 kids strapped in the back watching a video, makes me want to hide until spring.

Now, if you scrape and scrape the layers of all this crap out of the way, behind all the glitz and glitter and marketing ploys, you will find some of the most precious and caring stories of love and generosity that seem to come out only at this time of year.  That part I love, the true magic of the human spirit.  That inspires me.  But I also don’t feel that it should be limited to one part of the year.  Part of the reason that my husband and I don’t exchange gifts is that we strive to feel the essence of Christmas and the spirit of giving throughout the entire year.  Well, that and the fact that he has horrible gift anxiety that isn’t worth provoking.

So I find that if I go somewhere in nature or a place with books or something similar, I can escape the holidays.  Its difficult but do-able.  I’m lost in my thoughts as I run through my options of the day of where to hide and write and read.  My stomach beckons me into the fast food drive through as “Bill” welcomes me to Jack in the Box, where they serve breakfast the whole live-long day….I sit stunned at his authentic, hysterical greeting and then lose it.  His comment strikes me as the funniest thing I’ve heard in days and I proceed to laugh right into his loudspeaker.  “Bill” caught me by surprise with his audition-ready rehearsed ,Waiting for Guffman phrase.  He seriously cracked me up breaking the spell of sadness I’ve been sitting with. I’m struck with the wonderful, recently unfamiliar feeling of joy.  Its been days and I’ve been the walking dead. I’m wondering if “Bill” was the catalyst to me finding my moment of bliss or if I have just finally crossed over into insanity.  I order my food and wait excitedly to chat with him more at the pick up window.

I’m bummed that he is busy and can’t chat when I arrive realizing that his humor wasn’t specifically meant for me but for all who drive through.  He’s completely unaware of the gift he’s given me.  Its okay, I’ll take the joy anyway.  I’m so happily munching away on my breakfast sandwich that I’ve almost finished it before I realize that they forgot to put the bacon on it.  And yes, I eat bacon too.

About Rescuing Little L

Documenting the pieces of my journey...recovery from childhood sexual abuse and cruel ignorance...the effects of those incidious acts through adulthood... until the grace of recovery transcended the trauma and shame of my past, making it possible to return to Rescue Little L.... View all posts by Rescuing Little L

11 responses to “it was the boy at Jack in the Box…

  • Marilyn

    I read this and felt like I was reading my own words. No tree, no presents, cluttered house… hmmmm but I missed out on the cookies. Then right back into my own heart with the rampant commercialism, stressed out people and more. And I do strive to embrace the magic… the spirit of giving year round… not just when the holidays are here. So that struck a chord, too. Unfortunately, besides the no cookies… I haven’t come across a “Bill” like yours either! He may turn up yet, though… but with a Southen accent, of course. Most definitely got the “kindred spirit” feeling from reading this entry… yep… right down to the bacon, too. 😉

  • Crowing Crone Joss

    a kindred spirit! yay! Well, I don’t have a “Bill” to sing to me at the drive through but we are on the same page as far as the whole Christmas season goes. When my children were little I did the whole baking like a madwoman, filling stockings, putting up the tree and the whole nine yards. My children are long grown and two live far away and haven’t been “home” for Christmas for about ten years. My youngest lives nearby and turns 30 in January. Last year I told her and my hubby that it was my last year ‘doing’ Christmas and this year I’ve stuck with it. No tree, no baking, no gift giving. And wow, I realized the other day that I’m not stressed at all this Dec. We are having my daughter and a friend over for dinner on Christmas day and we’ll visit and play cards like we do pretty much every Sunday. It’s all just crazy – people spending money they don’t have to outdo everyone else. So yay for you and I who don’t do Christmas. I’m loving it.

  • Randy Creath

    I used to go to Jack in the Box at 2AM with my roommate on a motorcycle. We’d sing our order to the box by the sign. Then we’d go downtown and watch the hookers and pushers fight for turf… I’m not sure I’ve eaten in one since he died in 1975… That being said, I love the laughter that comes to my mind when I think of JITB. I’m glad you laughed!! As for Christmas stuff, I’m fairly well encamped in the Jackson Browne song, “Rebel Jesus”. Bless you Little L!! Know that the spirit of Christmas will shine through the dark of any season that becomes oppressive to us!!

    • Little L

      motorcycles, pushers and hookers…oh my! doubt that you are missing anything by not eating there and that sounds pretty crazy for seminary or was that another college experience? maybe next time, i’ll follow your lead and sing to the guy! always love to hear your stories and hope that you and Denise have a wonderful holiday experience, whatever that may be…

  • Merry ME

    This was a topic of conversation today between my sister and I. She has boycotted shopping, etc. I haven’t quite got the nerve to do it yet. It sounds blissfully unstressful, but I can’t imagine Christmas without presents, they don’t have to be big ones, so I endure the stress. Throw some grief into the mix and I think I may not be the merriest of people to be around.

    What would happen if all of us who want to boycott the madness of Christmas, not the miracle or joy or togetherness, if we did an Occupy the Parking Lot kind of thing. People couldn’t park, so they couldn’t shop and in the end, they might end up having the best Christmas ever.

    Gotta run, the sugar cookie dough is ready to be rolled and cut into intricately decorated bells and stars and trees. Can you say green and red sugar all over the kitchen? Woohoo!

    • Little L

      Interesting that a lot of folks are thinking about this…yeah, i like it! occupy parking lot at christmas! your kitchen sounds warm and cozy with the cookie baking, wish i was there to help…have a stress free holiday as possible…

  • ☼Illuminary☼

    One of the reasons this little Bear hibernates thru the blasted winter…
    but I like humor, especially when found in odd places and moments..

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