Monthly Archives: March 2013

Looks like I got some work to do….Thanks Sarah Potter, you always bring light into my day….

Sarah Potter Writes

Best Moment Award, web awards, blogging awards, winners, nominations

Awarding the people who live in the moment,
The noble who write and capture the best in life,
The bold who reminded us what really mattered –
Savoring the experience of quality time.

RULES:

Winners re-post this completely with their acceptance speech. This could be written or video recorded.

Winners have the privilege of awarding the next awardees! The re-post should include a NEW set of people/blogs worthy of the award; and winners notify them of the great news.

RESOURCES:

  • What makes a good acceptance speech?
    • Gratitude. Thank the people who helped you along the way
    • Humor. Keep us entertained and smiling
    • Inspiration. Make your story touch our lives
  • Get an idea from the great acceptance speeches, compiled in MomentMatters.com/Speech
  • Display the award’s badge on your blog/website, downloadable in MomentMatters.com/Award

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

I’m overwhelmed. This is my eighth award, including my four stars for Blog of the Year Award…

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Here are the words that I wish I could write for the partners of sexual abuse….for now, I will use these…

May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Unlike my other posts, this isn’t written for survivors, but for their partners. Okay, I lied, it’s really written for survivors to give to their partners, and has both answers to frequently asked questions and some helpful tips. I’m mixing up the pronouns here, because a lot of this applies to both women and men, but some of it will apply mainly to partners of women sexual assault survivors.

I’ve strugged for 20 years to explain adequately to my partners how it is to be a child sexual assault survivor and what this means in a relationship. First off, it was because I didn’t know. I spent a long time figuring out how to identify what I was feeling and needing, and how to take care of my own self, and in the interim I gave a lot of mixed messages.  Example: “I’m strong and independent but secretly want you…

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this is where i sit tonight….eyes down, no one daring to look….

Worldly Winds

Broken Reflection

 

 

 

 

 

Shhh, don’t tell

don’t let on

that you’re in hell

hush now

 

Your lips are pursed

don’t tell the doctor

or the nurse

eyes down

 

What lurks within

can’t be without

masked by a grin

and bear it

 

So well hidden

the mortal sin

guilt well ridden

(Angels don’t sing)

 

The mask of norm

slips on by

distorts the form

stiff upper lip

 

Word to the wise

soured apple

of your eyes

windowless soul

 

Darkness falls

eclipses all

no voice can call

chin up

 

© Eyes Down 07.03.2013

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Broken Reflection (Photo credit: shinealight)

 

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gonna kick the demon in the ass today….

4006206a3e604e4d8860122730daf432Unlike my usual self, this will be short and to the point.

No graphic, triggering details.  Just the facts.  

Haven’t slept well in days, watched the clock go from 2 am to 3 am to 4 am….Tons of body sensations on my skin, in my brain.  I’ve gnawed at my fingernails and took my anxiety meds.  Practiced DBT and trauma release exercises.  I’ve been through this enough now to know what is happening and how it will play itself out. I’ve identified it, named it and tackled it.

In other words, I’ve got this covered.  I have tools and support.  The memory still came in my sleep disguised as a writhing rattlesnake in my mouth.  That’s what I woke up to was the feeling of it in my mouth and that’s what I’ve spent the day shaking off.  Doesn’t take an expert in dream interpretation to figure out this awful phallic metaphor.  

But you know what?  Its okay.  Today, I can hold onto my soul and refuse to let you have it.  I’m gonna kick the demon in the ass today and let it know who is really the boss around here.  

I’m the alpha bitch and that’s just the way it is.


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