Category Archives: #NoMoreShameProject
These words are not mine but instead, those of a courageous and insightful fellow warrior. I’m fortunate to find these souls who in the absence of my words coming together to provide hope and compassion, they take over and provide us with comfort. Please visit the link below to see the full article and more of Matthew’s beautiful writing.
In fact, do better. Follow his blog and mine. Spread the word as kindly as you can about the specific limitations and ultra-sensitive delights of a sexual abuse survivor. We are worth it. In this age where we strive to embrace the issues of racism, bigotry, violence, LGBT, transgender, bullying, etc., let’s begin by getting to know one another, the history we’ve experienced and the path on which we forge forward. I’m ready, are you?
Dark Souls Are Not to Fear, But to Love
From Matthew Eaton: Writer, Child Sexual Abuse Survivor, Blogger
Do you languish in the darkness, or do you thrive in it?
This question lingers in my mind as I recall a conversation in my idle time.
“You know, the stuff you post is dark – really dark – but you’re always coming in here all cheery and happy.”
I discussed some people’s need to make me be something I am not. Instead, I learned a little more about myself.
I didn’t think anything about this statement at the time, but as I worried over it like a priceless possession, I wondered if it was possible the world was wrong and I, indeed, was correct in my darkness.
I live in the darkness, laughing at my disaster.
Dark souls are not to fear, but to love
What brought this post around was recalling a devotional my mother and I read when I was young. We were still members of the Foursquare church in Scotts Valley, and we weren’t the best of advocates to the holy life. No deep bible studies, no real praying or bonding with other believers, but we did invest in small devotionals that were to be ready daily. We read them in the morning.
They were filled with allegories and mental iconography galore.
So what made this particular devotional stand out? It contained the scientific knowledge (and commentary) on plant growth and the toxicity of continual exposure to light.
Since the beginning of my time as a God-ite, I questioned being in the light all the time. The thirst my other god-ites at the time held was rather interesting and confounding. They would shun people going through darkness, in fear the darkness would get into them like some sort of transmuted disease.
Nevertheless, here we were, reading a god-ite sponsored piece regarding the value of light and dark cycles with plants.
This is paraphrasing the work itself: “Too much time in darkness, and the plant withers. It is unable to reach any potential. Too much time in the light, however, is dangerous as well. At first, the plant thrives, but eventually it also withers and dies, burned beyond the point of recovery.”
It is a brave woman that can sit with her pain. Sometimes it seems as if that’s all I do. But I will trust you on this and feel the hope again.
*If you are sick and tired of hearing people tell you to “put the past behind you” or “get over it” or “move on with your life already”, I want to ensure you that this is not the message of this post.
Today, I had a small epiphany. I was thinking about what life would be like if I wasn’t sad, if I no longer carried the pain with me. In that moment, I felt a twinge of sadness about not being sad. I felt grief about living life without pain. I felt fearful about living with the faith necessary to open up my life. It was as if I might be saying goodbye to a long-term relationship, a dysfunctional relationship, but a relationship nonetheless.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the pain. I push through it. I will my way through life with gusto despite it. I want…
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In January 2014, best selling author, Rachel Thompson and therapist/author, Bobbi Parish, both survivors, began a Twitter chat #sexabusechat as a forum for support and healing for survivors of sexual abuse. With that resource quickly becoming so popular, they teamed with success coach and mentor, Athena Moberg to offer a Google Hangout on the evening following the chat to further process the topic of the week.
From there, these women have formed the NoMoreShameProject offering support, coaching services, publication and more. Within this project, there are many opportunities for a survivor to thrive, an opportunity which I find in short supply.
I’ve been fortunate enough to stumble upon these incredibly warm, inclusive, determined and very smart!! women. I’d like to pass this resource on to anyone touched by the issue of sexual abuse, child abuse or family violence. When we actually begin to find our voice and begin to hold each other’s hands, a miracle happens. Shame is released giving us long desired acceptance and freedom.
Check them out, grab a hand of a survivor friend and let’s circle the world!