Category Archives: writer

Pioneers of Change





















These are not my beautiful words but those of Sophie Bashford; intuitive, spiritual writer and blogger.  

You may find her at her website, Facebook and Twitter



Pioneers of Change

Carving out new ways of being, of living, of loving, of creating, of working – this is what pioneers do.

Pioneers of change are rare because at some point, they always have to stop caring about what others think of them. They have to risk possible disapproval from others, because a part of creating freedom is being free to follow your own inner guidance, regardless of what it brings up for other people.

As you bring in new consciousness, you reach down deep – deeper than you ever believed was possible – and haul out the ancient treasure, the old wisdom, the cosmic truths, the wild and untamed instinct. This may sound easy, but many who have eschewed the familiar, domesticated, soul-restrained, heart-numbed paths will tell you that it is not.

It takes enormous, usually daily or even hourly, courage to stand apart from the herd and assert the newness, the shining fresh-air, the less-understood rhythms of Life and Universe.

Make no mistake, every single pioneer that you look up to, have learned from, take spiritual succour from, recognise as having blazed a trail for you to follow: every single person who changes vibration and consciousness has had to endure sometimes agonising inner and outer transformations and dark nights of the soul.

They wouldn’t be able to hold the energy they do if this was not the case.

If you wish to rise up and grow into your Soul’s Light, realise your spiritual destiny and make a difference here, you must know that the darker times are vital in order to build your sacred muscles.

When you look back on all your times of loneliness and alienation, confusion, insecurity, lostness, and intense fear at bringing the spiritual light of you out to be seen, and used as the Universe desires – you will come to see that this is the process of a pioneer.

When you are waking up to the truth of your destiny, you have to be plunged into the sacred fires of purification and oceanic depths of the Unknown. Many, many people will not understand why you are changing so much, why you are choosing this path, why you are speaking out, and why you have to stand alone in many ways in order to purify yourself from the mass conditioned mind.

True pioneers have to make hard choices about their lives.

No-one else can do it for them.

If this is you, then you have what it takes. You were designed for it. Not everyone will like, or approve of it. In many ways, that is a sign that you are doing it perfectly.

No-one who ever created the New, did so without determination, perseverance, patience, and extreme – though perhaps hidden – levels of courage.

They were all scared. They just carried on and did it in spite of the fear.

They didn’t wait for another day.

They did something that their Souls craved and yearned for – even if it terrified them, especially if it did – they did it today.

And thus they were lifted, deeply supported and touched the hearts and souls of the world.



Spirit in the Sky

In wanting to pay tribute to a wonderful woman whom I barely got to know and her partner, Ed, I’m re-blogging his post.  This beautiful post reflects on love and loss, particularly to suicide.  But as you will see from the content, these issues are complicated and layered with many issues stemming from childhood sexual abuse and how it can steal one’s soul.  I’m proud of Ed Kurtz for loving her and having the courage and language to represent her with such sacred beauty.

The Familiar Pain

It is a brave woman that can sit with her pain. Sometimes it seems as if that’s all I do. But I will trust you on this and feel the hope again.

Beating Trauma


*If you are sick and tired of hearing people tell you to “put the past behind you” or “get over it” or “move on with your life already”, I want to ensure you that this is not the message of this post.

Today, I had a small epiphany. I was thinking about what life would be like if I wasn’t sad, if I no longer carried the pain with me. In that moment, I felt a twinge of sadness about not being sad. I felt grief about living life without pain. I felt fearful about living with the faith necessary to open up my life. It was as if I might be saying goodbye to a long-term relationship, a dysfunctional relationship, but a relationship nonetheless.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the pain. I push through it. I will my way through life with gusto despite it. I want…

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My ‘Naked’ Truth by Robin Korth

Today I felt compelled to share this story. I share it as a 57 year old woman who wants to challenge the belief system of women, beauty, aging. Hats off to Robin for her naked and vulnerable story. Enjoy this article as I have and vow to continue to love ourselves fearlessly and to teach our daughters and future generations of women to do the same.

Kindness Blog

My ‘Naked’ Truth by Robin Korth

Robin Korth

Naked, I stood at the closet doors with the lights on and made myself ready. I took a deep breath and positioned the mirrors so I could see all of me. I consciously worked to remove my self-believed inner image. I opened my eyes and looked very carefully at my body. And my heart lurched at the truth: I am not a young woman anymore. I am a woman well-lived. My body tells of all the years she has carried my spirit through life.

I am a 59-year-old woman in great health and in good physical shape. I stand five-feet, nine-inches tall and weigh 135 pounds. I wear a size six in both jeans and panties, and my breasts are nowhere near my navel. In fact, they still struggle to make it full-up in a B-cup bra. My thighs are no longer velvet and…

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Memoirs of the Molested

51zFnhVYnKL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_I’m so excited I can hardly think to put this post together.  But I must share this news with my friends and invite them to dance with me now.

I’m sharing a success that isn’t just my own.  It is one born of the many women and men that I’ve come to know through the unifying experience of trauma and abuse.  We have listened, supported and honored each person’s story.  Together we share the goal of education and enlightenment on a subject usually hidden from view.  The wise words of my friend, Joss Burnel, are relevent to this moment (and I’m paraphrasing), “We must hold hands together until we circle the world”.

My story was accepted to be included in Valerie Perez’s recently published book, Memoirs of the Molested. and displayed in Amazon’s preview “Look Inside” feature. Whoa!

“Memoirs of the Molested is a collection of literary works meant to promote awareness of child molestation and help to educate the public on the effects this type of abuse has on the victims and their families. Proceeds from the sale of this book will benefit a nonprofit organization in the San Antonio area that provides specialized services to children recovering from the trauma of sexual abuse.”

Kudos to Valerie Perez for the courage to put this book together for such a worthy cause. I couldn’t be more pleased to be a part of this journey with the other survivors and authors contained in the book.  What an incredible family we are becoming.

My writing life with a coach…

pathThe timing for my decision to hire a writing coach couldn’t have been better.  Several months into this joint project between myself and my coach has left me almost delirious with purpose.

Earlier this winter, I had the good fortune to read a post from Sarah Potter’s blog featuring a concept called Novel Writing Winter.  She explained her kinder and gentler approach to working on her book using the entire winter season to snuggle up and write.  I thought it was so creative, especially for those of us who are hunkered down anyway, facing those bleary grey winter days.  I’d already flunked out of NaNoWriMo and the prospect of having a writing buddy, a pal across the pond in the UK (in her case) sounded delightful.  I pictured many afternoons with an imaginary tea party with Sarah and friends chatting about our projects and realized it was exactly the support that I needed.

To that point, I had been writing.  I had been discovering memories, painstakingly putting them into form on a blog, mostly short and random stories.  It was fulfilling to a point but knew I had a larger purpose for the experience that I had gone through of abuse, childhood violence and recovery.  I wanted this story to be a book but hadn’t a clue of where to go from there.

I quickly joined up with Sarah and friends, put her badge on my blog and sat down with my stories.  Since I was already feeling encouraged by this support, I thought, why not take it to the next level?  The National Association of Memoir Writers, a group that I had belonged to for a year or so, was offering a class on memoir writing given by two women who I have come to love and respect.  Linda Joy Myers, who started NAMW, and Brooke Warner of Warner Coaching, were giving a 4-week introductory class through their Write Your Memoir in Six Months site.  It seemed like a perfect place to start in my quest to find out more and provide my story with some structure.

Yes, I said structure.  The one aspect of this process that was sorely lacking attention.  You see, I love the creative flow, the zone where I’m lost in my mind and pouring out words on the keyboard.  The romantic aspect of writing appeals so greatly to me.  Sitting in the library, books all around me, dog curled up by my side complete with a steaming cup of tea.  I have a good laugh at myself when I realize I’ve cultivated this quirky, dressed in black, elusive artist persona.  Oh, you should see me poised at the window wistfully looking out at the bleary winter sky with the tormented gaze of Virginia Wolff. I seriously have this part down.  I enjoy it so much that to date, it was the only part that was well developed.  But there is a practical, methodical aspect to writing that I hadn’t embraced yet and it seemed its time had come.  These stories needed structure, a place to belong, a linear home.

What I learned, during the 4 week course, was invaluable.  I was able to shift my brain over to the left a bit and look at the “bones” of my book, how I wanted it be outlined, what I wanted it to say.  Both Brooke and Linda are crackerjack at gently and persistently nudging us as writers, to look at the big picture and to work effectively and efficiently toward that goal.  I’m thinking I’ve probably shaved off years of aimless window gazing by finally choosing Brooke from Warner Coaching to be my writing coach.

Now, here’s my disclaimer.  I didn’t feel confident or even competent enough in the beginning to justify the money to hire a writing coach.  In fact, I was a real Nervous Nelly about it.  I had a few days of the inner critic snickering, “You think you’re good enough for this?”  “She works with professionals in the publishing industry, not wannabe window-gazing writers!”  “Just keep this dark, miserable writing to yourself, no one will want to read it!”

So, my critic and I had a long chat and I won. Ha. Through this conversation, I pinpointed exactly what I wanted.  In my heart, the reason I started this memoir in the first place, was to give the small child I once was a voice.  She had endured so much pain yet remained stoic and strong for a lifetime, that it was her time to speak.  I wanted more than anything to tell her story and mine and have it help someone along the way.  I just know that there are women, children, men and boys living everyday lives, struggling with secrets and the trauma of abuse.  I want to set them free.

I hired Brooke and what I’ve learned so far is just perfect.  She keeps me focused on the outline, the structure, the message, my voice.  These are not easy tasks for someone like me.  Traumatized children grow up into traumatized adults who don’t come by linear thinking easily.  We gravitate toward chaos.  And because of this special challenge, I needed a coach who would get this.

Why I chose to work with a writing coach, specifically Brooke….

  • I needed accountability.  When we have deadlines, we work toward them.  I enjoy having assignments with specific due dates, it keeps me motivated and focused.
  • Early on, I realized that I needed to work with a woman.  Trust is such a big issue with me and I work better with women, I trust them more.  That’s a usual conclusion for abused women and one that I honored with this decision.
  • Brooke has so much professional experience and is wildly qualified to coach writing.  As the former editor of Seal Press, Brooke has worked with hundreds of authors taking their writing to published works.
  • Besides her professional experience, I liked the titles that Seal Press published.  I gravitate toward that genre, it really spoke to me.
  • She’s really nice.  Each suggestion is made with a professional grace combined with warmth and concern for my project.  I feel she respects me, my work and my goals.

After 4 sessions, I can feel a relationship forming and my trust in myself as a person and a writer is growing.  This is a monumentally huge accomplishment for a child of trauma, trust is usually very elusive. So, I must take a moment to thank all the wonderful women who so serendipitously have graced my life.  I consider myself so fortunate to have them placed in my path for me to stumble across, sometimes even tripping.  It’s just a great time to be Little L.

More than 5 things to do if you’re gonna be a writer….

Thank youSeveral years ago, while in the shower I had the compelling epiphany to write a memoir.  A book based on my life’s story; the traumas, the journey, the healing.   I would lay out a quilt, steep some tea and write myself whole again.  Sounds beautiful, doesn’t it?

That epiphany took form slowly by becoming a few stories, then a blog, followed by a few timid submissions and a Facebook page.  I’ve lovingly cared and developed my craft by doing things like learning what the heck it means to increase your social media presence and tackling Twitter.

Well, today I just want to scream.  No beauty here!  What the hell was I thinking when I started a monumental project like writing a book?  Really, my life story?  What do I know about writing and publishing?  Actually, more than I think when I finally simmer down and let this pass.

Here’s my not so tidy list of things that have done to help move this project along…

  1.  Realize that any movement is good.  Taking a formless idea and transforming it into a tangible, readable book or story is a huge undertaking that needs to be done in small manageable steps.  The more support you have for this, the better.
  2. Read.  Especially authors whose stories resonate with your story and even more so, the authors whose framework and storylines appeal to you.
  3. Do something to identify yourself as a writer.  I made a Facebook page, joined the National Association of Memoir Writers and She Writes.  All of these actions add energy and identification to your role as a writer and author.
  4. If you don’t have any formal training in writing, that’s okay.  Teach yourself.  We live in the information age graced with the internet and libraries for information we need to hold in our hands.  Use both extensively.
  5. Make the time to write.  Find the time to write.  Tell your family to make dinner.  Leave your phone off.  Write seemingly meaningless stuff or post on other people’s blog but keep the flow going.   This is exactly what I’m doing at this particular moment because I can’t seem to write on my book so I’m thrusting my frustrations out on this blog post.
  6. Align yourself with virtual writing projects like NaNoWriMo and Novel Writing Winter.  These keep you in touch with others who are waging The War of Art.
  7. Give yourself permission to scream.  Its cathartic but make sure you don’t scare the children or the dogs.

These last weeks have really sucked.  I don’t feel my creative flow and my muse has headed for the hills. I lost several days to a sick dog and ultimately a dog that passed away.  Everyone should be given numerous sick days for when you lose a beloved animal friend.

My therapist lost her father so there’s no group this week.   I gave her my condolesences and hid my neediness for wishing I could be with my pals tonight.  A friend lost her father so there’s more casseroles to make and more stuff eating my time from my book.  My husband had to leave town for work and I needed to stay behind with the sick dog.

Things happen.  Schedules change.  People and animals die.  Support isn’t there like you had planned.

Big deal….go scream, get the chocolate then sit down and write.

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