I can’t wait to get my hands on this book. It’s ordered and on its way.
The full title is Go Only as Fast as Your Slowest Part Feels Safe To Go: Tales to Kindle Gentleness and Compassion For Our Exhausted Selves written by Robyn L. Posin Ph.D. If I hadn’t had the enormous good fortune to have crossed paths with Robyn before I knew of her book, the title alone would have been enough to have grabbed my attention. My soul seeks out and especially loves words like this. Safe. Compassion. Gentleness.
You see, I’m a slow person in the ways that most of our world deems important to be fast. I drive slowly, like an elderly couple on a Sunday afternoon, I’m the one who is leading the parade down Main Street, holding up traffic and keeping folks from their ever-present tendency to rush. Yes, I get honked at a lot and am okay with that. I like the feeling of peace that travels with me now instead of the gut tightening experience of rushing from one destination to another.
My movements are slower now also as I’ve come to realize that my serenity lies within me. No longer am I chasing the carrot dangling in front of me, going ninety miles an hour inside, always reaching, grasping for the unattainable that is out there, somewhere out there, just slightly out of my reach. I now know and try to practice a mindful lifestyle based on the innate wisdom that resides within.
But it hasn’t always been like this. It wasn’t until my body broke that I fell into bed and took stock of my life. Perhaps through lack of any other choice, I acquiesed to the cruel fact that I had fractured and splintered, used and abused, pushed and prodded myself almost to death. I quit my job, dropped out of life, accepted the AMA’s diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Immune Dysfunction and slept for an entire year. Summer, fall, winter, spring. When I went to bed, my daughter was a high school freshman. By the time I began to come out of my physical fog, she had nearly completed high school.
But this conversation isn’t about my poor choices or the ramifications of traumatized children or even the physical effects of abuse. This is about a woman, who is a part of a movement, that exists to open our eyes to the possibility of acceptance and compassion in relationship to ourselves. It is about physical slowing and emotional stillness. It is about granting ourselves permission to honor the parts of our psyches that are smaller, littler, slower or feeling unsafe. And taking that recognition to a level of loving acceptance.
Even though I haven’t read her book, I’m certain the gentleness of her words will blow me away. I’ve found that to be true when I’ve visited Robyn’s website, For the Little Ones Inside. Her writing and art struck a chord and I felt the immediate desire to slow down, let go, relax my body, relax my soul. My exhausted self needed her. We exchanged a few e-mails, she’s on my blogrool and I’m on hers. Perhaps I just needed to know that beliefs such as hers really exist. That we can, in fact, lovingly accept our smallest parts and don’t have to hide or push them away. That it’s okay to be confused, unsure, distracted, cautious. That it’s okay to just be.
Suggested Link: Words, images and tales created by Robin Posin, Ph.D. at Compassionate Ink