Tag Archives: music

awww shucks, another award…

I absolutely love the concept of supporting each other’s healing and creative journeys expressed through our writing, blogging, art, music.

And though I don’t know who originated the idea of giving blogger awards to each other, I think its brilliant.  We, as recipients, know that they are small albeit genuine affirmations created to spread the word of our blogs/art form and raise awareness of the issues close to our hearts.  In my little corner of the world and especially for those of us who are crawling out from under a rock of mental illness, anxiety disorders, depression and chronic illness, these awards make you feel like a rock star.

I’ve had the honor of being nominated for the Inspiring Blogger award from Fringewalk, a very intricately woven blog simply stated as ” A few stitches in the global human tapestry”.  She is as complex as the many issues that she addresses which she does so beautifully.  I always enjoy reading the words from her angle, from her perspective, from her corner of the world.  Thank you, I’m so honored.  Its so cool to feel that people crawling around on the internet have not only found me and my blog but find it inspiring.  Not sure it gets much better.

Rules of the award:
1.) Thank the person who gave you the award with a link to their blog.
2.) Tell them 7 things about yourself.
3.) Nominate 7 other blogs for the award.

Now that I’ve officially thanked Fringewalk for her love and support, I’m moving on to the 7 blogs that I want to nominate.  This is a a bit of a challenge for a bona fide blog-a-holic but here goes….These blogs are ones that I find myself drawn to over and over.  For one reason or another, they inspire me.  And if the recipients aren’t as geeked about these awards as I am or simply can’t find the room on their site to post them, that’s okay too.   I’m just flat out giving them, in no particular order….and letting each of you decide what to do with them based on your situation.

Bone Sigh Arts

Where do I start?  This awesome, woman owned business, produces the most beautiful cards, prints, books, daily quotes, and e-cards imaginable.  But its the sentiments layered on top of the colors that really cinch the deal.  And even more than that, its a forum for friendship, solace, comfort and humor.  And…yes, there’s more…. Terri’s diverse and inclusive nature will draw you in and steal your heart.  Truly a remarkable place.

Wholly Jean

This woman just oozes sweet Southern, honey dripping charm.  She’s a writer, artist, fellow blogger who has provided much needed words of comfort across my computer screen combined with a straight spoken fierceness of a woman who doesn’t compromise her beliefs. Log on to her site, it will be quite an adventure.

Walking in Beauty

Joss, AKA the Crowing Crone, simply radiates love.  When I visit her blog, it feels like coming home to an old friend who has a cup of tea waiting for you.  The beauty of the way she conducts her life and writes of her experiences has given me comfort at some very difficult times. But don’t let the pureness of her heart fool you….she’s a tough lady who has transcended some tough times.  Her book, What I Know About Fibro is a very good case in point of a woman who has turned her life around.

Healing from BPD

A very honest and informative site for survivors and others struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder.  Debbie’s blog is upbeat yet real when it comes to the challenges presented by BPD.  There have been many a day that her posts have been timely and comforting to know that someone out there really understands the issues surrounding this illness.  She promotes acceptance, understanding and coping tools and does a fabulous job of removing the stigma of BPD.  

Raising My Rainbow

I do not know this woman or her son, as in I have never really corresponded with her as I have the others I’ve listed above.  But I’m a regular lurker on this beautiful, creative “mommy blog” about the “adventures in raising a fabulously gender creative son”.  Her words, not mine.  One cannot read this blog without having CJ steal your heart with the credit going to his mother for portraying him in such an incredibly, fiercely loving way.  I suspect that she is nominated for many awards and so she should be.  She is addressing some really tough issues surrounding LGBT children with pure love and acceptance.  And besides that, she is flat out hysterical.

Canopy in the Sunlight

One of my first pals that I met through the Bone Sigh Arts forum, Illuminary is a bit of a willow-the-wisp.  She’s a self admitted kind of a hermit who seems to prefer the sanctity of her studio and musings.  I’ve found her to be witty, concerned and incredibly self reflective. While she may post only occasionally, they are well worth the wait as I always find her words comforting and thoughtful.  

A Heart’s Whisper

I have learned so much from Jackie over the last year.  I must look toward women like her who are consistently graceful and gentle especially during times where my emotions are all over the place.  She is grounding and constant and pure love.  I would encourage anyone wanting to journey farther into themselves to check out her writings.  This is an absolute safe place to be.

PS~~Julie Catherine….You already had this award but I wanted to sneak you in here anyway because I love your stuff too!

And finally….7 things about myself.   This was BY FAR the more challenging task.  Not sure what noteworthy tidbits you all would want to know but here goes….

  •         I feel incomplete without a really cool pair of earrings which is about the only jewelry that I wear.
  •         I prefer the company of animals to most people.
  •         Had my daughter at home with a midwife attending.  Celebrated with a few friends, champagne and ice cream and took a hour   long bath with my new baby.  Probably one of the grooviest experiences of my life.
  •        Got to fly to Washington DC with 30 magnificent women to participate in a march for reproductive freedom. 
  •        Almost got kicked out of the local beauty pageant during high school because I wouldn’t remove my POW bracelet.
  •        For a day and a half, sat with and sang my mother from this world as she passed to the other side.
  •        Consider myself an emotional empath as I’ve always felt emotions stronger than most.  This is a gift and a curse.

Thanks for hanging in during this very long post….but I wanted to play by the rules and give credit to these fabulous new friends that I’ve had the good fortune to meet.  I’m humbled by this award and am so glad to be here in such great company!

Rev. Randy helps me sing…

Peeking in...

The pitfalls of doing this kind of intense, soul searching work are few and the possibilities and benefits are great.  I would be remiss if I didn’t have some awareness of how this dark information is received by those who care about me.  I often feel my writing should carry a warning label because it is the one place that I do not under any circumstance censor myself.  I can’t and I won’t.  I must leave the responsibility to the the reader to set their own boundaries and decide what is too much for them.  And actually as part of my therapy it is my responsibility to not try to control this for others.

That being said, I do wince a bit when I hit the publish button thinking of certain friends of family who will find this information disturbing or sad.  I really don’t want to be a bummer, I want more than anything to reach the women/men who have been altered and defined by the trauma of sexual abuse, incest or violence and help set them free.  This gives me purpose to a life that has for the most part has felt expendible.  I know people weep for me; they write me and tell me so.  Yet, I continue writing because above all I have to give this child her voice.

Rev. Randy wishes he could have done something when we were children.  I know without a doubt and have told him so that having a caring soul of an elementary classmate in my circle was enough at that point.  Knowing the deep and incidious system of violence that threads through families is not something that a wide eyed first grader can take on.  But still I know he wishes he could.  But I want to say this to the Rev. as well as the others in my life that each and every one of you have held a different task in the the unraveling of this family dynamic for me.  Each gift is unique and deeply recognized and appreciated.

This little girl is learning to do many things that she’s never been given the space or love to do.  She can now look up and make eye contact.  Every once in a while she will peek out from behind the dark curtain to see what’s out in the world that she may be curious about.  I make her world soft and quiet which allows her to let the tension ease from her tight little body.

She’s never enjoyed music, at least most music that she’s been exposed to.  The string music of my daughter’s orchestra years always left me in a corner of the auditorium weeping, it felt so emotional and beautiful.  The little girl felt too raw and overwhelmed by it even though it seemed to be played by the angels in heaven themselves.  Folks always found it odd that the little girl preferred silence or the sounds of nature to music, after all everyone was plugging into music for as long as I can remember.  But it often felt like an assault, something else to assimiliate into my already overburdened senses, something that was put upon me against my will.

Recently something has shifted.  I’ve watched Rev. Randy and his love for music.  I’ve listened and followed a musician on a mission, understanding that song with meaning is something that the little girl seems to have a peeking curiosity about.  Maybe I just needed this concept presented to me in a more personal and basic way for me to understand the capabilities of music, which for me now is love with a tune.  Its led me to other musicians who, with careful and tentative consideration have begun to delight this little girl.

She’s been humming to herself lately and yesterday, some words formed and I heard her singing. A repitative phrase sung over and over, the release was intense.  She cried and laughed straight from her heart.  I sense warmth and movement from a once frozen iceberg, I see love spreading through her with song.  Who would have thought?  A huge, huge step for a silent, mute child whose only sounds were crying and whimpers.

So Rev. Randy, thank you. You can now unburden yourself from the notion that you weren’t helping because now you can see the gift you’ve given me.  By going ahead in the world and creating love through music, you’ve helped me at exactly the right time that I’ve needed it.

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